I had heard raving reviews about this book and I wondered what it was all about. I typically prefer fiction and haven't read too many books in a memoir format, but this book exceeded my expectations. The way Tara Westover writes is absolutely brilliant - she is personable, engaging and is able to connect with her readers in a unique way. This book is an absolute must-read and you should definitely add it to your reading list. If I were to give it a rating on a scale of 1-10, this would be a solid 9 at least. Here are three of my favourite aspects of Educated:
#1: It makes you reconsider family relationships and how breaking free of oppressive cultural norms does not make you a bad person.
Tara Westover recounts her childhood experiences and memories with such vivid detail that you feel as if you were experiencing them herself. Whether that be the violent actions of her older brother or the betrayal she felt losing her sister, there is so much life in her words that you have to take a step back and remind yourself that you are not there. As I was reading the memoir, I could feel my emotions going in a number of different directions. I felt her pain, I felt her uncertainty, and most of all, I felt her need to be true to herself and go her own way.
Educated makes you think through every relationship you’ve ever had and what you have grown up hearing. Westover made me look more carefully at my own family relationships and consider the interactions I’ve had with other members of the South Asian community. It can be incredibly easy to discredit the actions of your family members, good or bad, under the guise of “they’re still my family”. This power we give to those close to us is dangerous as they can take advantage of it as they know they are unlikely to be reprimanded for their actions. For Westover, this seems to constantly be the case with all her family members. In particular, she convinces herself that her brother Shawn’s abusive nature is no more than innocent “goofing off” between siblings. It is only later in her life that she is able to recognize how he was a bully and extremely violent. While I am lucky to have a loving family, I also find myself turning a blind eye to certain occurrences or statements that can be hurtful. However, by reading Educated I was reminded that even those we love can hurt us and that we should not make excuses or ignore poor behaviour.
Most cultures often have some outdated viewpoints. For Tara’s Mormon family, the belief that “women belonged in the kitchen” and should not work was still strongly held. Throughout her life, she grew up hearing this and was discouraged from seeking an education. Even when she was in university, other Mormons around her encouraged her to pursue music or more “feminine” fields despite her avid interest in history. At first this seemed reasonable as it was what she had grown up with, however, she eventually realizes that this sort of rhetoric is oppressive and pushes false gender stereotypes on people. Regardless of what she does, being a woman comes from within and not necessarily any actions you do or don’t take. Paralleling this to my own experiences, in the South Asian community it’s not unusual to hear this same sort of rhetoric. That women should stay home and take care of their children rather than work and that men should always work a 9-5 job and prioritize work over spending time with their children and family. However, as Westover depicts in her memoir, breaking free of these norms does not make her any less of a human being nor does it make her the “devil”, despite what her parents may have had her believe. It is incredibly empowering to see her discuss this as many individuals often feel pressured into abiding by these norms for fear of being deemed a “disgrace” or dishonouring their families. Tara Westover reminds us that creating your own identity that is free of what is expected of you does not make you any of those things, but rather, it makes you a person who is strong enough to believe in themselves and what they deem to be right.
#2: It exemplifies the need for understanding the world around you through your own eyes
Throughout much of her childhood and early adult life, Westover recounts relying on her parents for her knowledge of the world. If her father said that public education was a ploy by the government to take children away from the light of god, then that was what it was - no ifs, ands, or buts. When she enters university and leaves her home, the whole world is different. Taking pills does not kill you and being a woman who prefers history to music does not make you any less of a woman. These are all lessons Westover learns later in life and throughout her memoir she describes the identity crisis she faces and the turmoil of deciding whether to embrace the new knowledge and world she has discovered at the expense of her family, or go back to living in a world she knows she no longer can.
This type of reliance on one source of information for your understanding of the world is dangerous and it reflects the trend of fake news and individuals being ill-informed about issues happening in the world. I’m no saint either and I have done my fair share of only looking at my Facebook feed for news and reading only one side of the story. It’s dangerous and you end up in a positive feedback loop where your beliefs continue to be strengthened. Westover explains how detrimental this can be and she sheds light on some of the real life examples where individuals becoming extremist and end up hurting those around them.
It’s true that even those who get their news from a variety of sources continue to uphold strong beliefs in certain areas, but at least they are aware of the other side and can decide for themselves what they believe in. Westover reminds us that what we hear around us isn’t always right nor is it the only way to look at the world around you. Take time to really understand situations for yourself rather than just listening to one source. This goes for politics, books, movies and practically everything around you!
#3: It makes you reconsider the connotation of the word “Educated”
When I think of what “educated” means to me, I think of people who have some form of formal education and are knowledgeable of the world around them. However, Tara Westover changes my definition for that word. Against numerous odds, she taught herself mathematics and science, left her survivalist family, and studied at some of the most prestigious institutions in the world. She didn’t have any formal education throughout her childhood and didn’t learn what the Holocaust was until she was 17 years old. At first glance, I would not consider her to be educated and would likely turn a blind eye to her.
After reading Educated, I now know that individuals become educated in a number of different ways that are not just dependent on actual textbooks. Being educated also means recognizing your own self-worth and knowing when you’ve had enough. It is about identifying destructive and abusive behaviours in those around you and being able to separate yourself from them. Being educated is about knowing what is going on in the world around you and understanding it on a deeper level and knowing what it means to you.
Even those of us who think we are educated are often lacking in certain areas. This does not mean that we are not educated or do not understand the world around us, but it does mean that there is room for improvement. Tara Westover became educated in a number of different ways, but to me, the most impressive one is her internal realization that she is a human being who deserves to be treated with respect and dignity, regardless of what her life choices were. I hope that one day, I too can have the same confidence she did and become fully educated as well.
Snickers, S